I think everything is ok. Or will be ok. Or is ok as it can be right now, but is on a path to being truly ok for the first time.
I hope so.
But I think I have absorbed some really unattractive insecurities by proximity in the last few years. Maybe they were things I've always had and just were changed/made worse/better. A need to constantly apologize. The idea someone could just wake up and feel totally different about things. Feeling guilty for even worrying about that, because you are pretty sure they really, really meant what they were saying. And you yourself meant it all too.
I hope all of this doesn't show too badly, too often.
Because I really like this.
/
Christmas is in ten days. I have a lot of things to do.
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