or that.

ok.

this, last one ever, promise:



last october. filmed by me. this might have been one of the most intense and affecting things i've ever been a part of.

the song isn't about this. or even anything close to this. but.

what i am thinking about right now:

someone wrote and performed this song in 2009. and i cried, sitting on a couch full of strangers while they wept in front of a crowd. and after the show i embraced them and had no reason to tell them it was going ok, but i did. i was probably really unsure of that.

now it is more than a year later. and they are alive in 2010. they are ok in 2010. they are even happy in 2010.

people make it out. this has felt insane and really, really lonely (which is probably why there's no one really to even talk to about it besides each other), but looking to music and to art and to whatever else fills up our days, it's not that lonely at all. there is so much by so many people. people feel like this all the time. they make it out. everyone does.

but,

i'm sorry i don't think anything has been written from the other side. and i'm sorry that i really don't know what ends up happening to those people. i really hope they end up ok too.

i have just been so, so stupid and i am sorry.

so this is it.

ok.