I think, anyway.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
†mas plans.
I am starting work on something called "†mas". I think it will be nice Christmas collection full of music that is both undeniably about (the) Christmas (season) but also does not have too much to do with actual Christmas music. That sounds nice.
Maybe I will even play/sing a song(s)! I might have to break into a friend's house to use their piano though. Shhh.
Today is going to be ok.
update: waaaaay not ok really.
Maybe I will even play/sing a song(s)! I might have to break into a friend's house to use their piano though. Shhh.
Today is going to be ok.
update: waaaaay not ok really.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
New Love.
when your body doesn't feel it
when you can't see it in your heart
when we both stay up all night just listening to someone else's breath
give me new love
when you are my first thought when i climb into bed
when i'm your first thought when you wake
when everything else just seems to fall short
light a candle for us
give me new love
give me all your love
give me all your love
give me new love
These are words written by my friend freddy, who makes really amazing music in a band called Former Ghosts, and which appears as a song called "New Love" on an album of the same name. You can listen to it here. I sort of don't like the idea of just posting someone else's words, but I don't know what else to do when you hear someone say something better than you're ever going to be able to. How it nearly serves an an answer or response to "Thieves" kind of freaks me out.
I've spent a lot of time in the past few months listening to music to keep me company rather than advise. Things that aren't comforting because they offer any kind of conclusion, but because they end up making you feel even just a little bit less alone about being so insane over something you can't explain.
Which is sort of weird, since that is a lot like what you have been. Not an answer or magic solution, but someone who has started to help me understand again.
I am not sure how much more convinced I can become of something. I hope I am doing the right things. I hope the idea of what feels right means something. I hope we define being "ok" the same way.
I hope there is a difference between romantic and pathetic.
I'm a mess again today. This is hard.
when you can't see it in your heart
when we both stay up all night just listening to someone else's breath
give me new love
when you are my first thought when i climb into bed
when i'm your first thought when you wake
when everything else just seems to fall short
light a candle for us
give me new love
give me all your love
give me all your love
give me new love
These are words written by my friend freddy, who makes really amazing music in a band called Former Ghosts, and which appears as a song called "New Love" on an album of the same name. You can listen to it here. I sort of don't like the idea of just posting someone else's words, but I don't know what else to do when you hear someone say something better than you're ever going to be able to. How it nearly serves an an answer or response to "Thieves" kind of freaks me out.
I've spent a lot of time in the past few months listening to music to keep me company rather than advise. Things that aren't comforting because they offer any kind of conclusion, but because they end up making you feel even just a little bit less alone about being so insane over something you can't explain.
Which is sort of weird, since that is a lot like what you have been. Not an answer or magic solution, but someone who has started to help me understand again.
I am not sure how much more convinced I can become of something. I hope I am doing the right things. I hope the idea of what feels right means something. I hope we define being "ok" the same way.
I hope there is a difference between romantic and pathetic.
I'm a mess again today. This is hard.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
An old thing and a new thing.
FIRST PRAYER
right now your name
is the cruelest word
in this language
but still i'll say it
over and over
the only word of
the only prayed
i've ever said
a name as pins and as swords
that scrapes and cuts
that bears repeating
until it is heard
or until there's nothing to hear
ANOTHER PRAYER
can i please tell you about
the weight of days of 11:11 wishes?
& that i never wished for you?
only for you to follow your heart
can i please remind you about
the heart i wanted?
anatomically correct
but utterly ignored
right now your name
is the cruelest word
in this language
but still i'll say it
over and over
the only word of
the only prayed
i've ever said
a name as pins and as swords
that scrapes and cuts
that bears repeating
until it is heard
or until there's nothing to hear
ANOTHER PRAYER
can i please tell you about
the weight of days of 11:11 wishes?
& that i never wished for you?
only for you to follow your heart
can i please remind you about
the heart i wanted?
anatomically correct
but utterly ignored
FA Sequel
FA Sequel
by Natural Light
11.4.10
this is wf-04
MEGAUPLOAD
00:00-00:35 :: "Fall Again Field Recording" - Natural Light
00:35-01:54 :: "It Started with a Mixx" - Los Campesinos!
01:54-05:11 :: "Fake Empire" - The National
05:11-07:39 :: "Half of Two Times Two (Never Version)" - BARR
07:39-11:44 :: "Where You're Coming From" - Matt & Kim
11:44-14:20 :: "Catholic Pagans" - Surfer Blood
14:20-18:53 :: "(This is) The Dream of Evan and Chan" - Dntel
18:53-21:28 :: "Islands" - The xx
21:28-23:15 :: "New Homes" - Lucky Dragons
23:15-26:47 :: "Night" - Zola Jesus
26:47-30:37 :: "Black Purse (Amp Live Remix)" - WHY?
30:37-32:36 :: "I Say "No"" - Mount Eerie
32:36-35:31 :: "When I'm with You" - Best Coast
35:31-39:06 :: "Apologetic Shoulderblades" - Baths
39:06-43:10 :: "This Heart's on Fire" - Wolf Parade
Never given. Sorry. I hope someone hears it.
There is some sort of sequel...sequel I am doing now. It has a lot of fun songs on it. Just kidding they are all devastating.
Fall Again
Fall Again
by Natural Light
10.15.10
this is wf-03
MEGAUPLOAD
00:00-04:48 :: "Tone Kill Two" - Odd Nosdam
04:48-07:56 :: "Cherry Tulips (TJ Lipple of Aloha Remix)" - Headlights
07:56-12:00 :: "Pa Pa Power" - Dead Man's Bones
12:00-15:26 :: "I'm Waiting to Know You (edit)" - The Fiery Furnaces
15:26-18:15 :: "Pantone Cyan" - WHY?
18:15-20:12 :: "Flutes" - Serengeti
20:12-23:56 :: "Maple Leaves (7'' Version)" - Jens Lekman
23:56-26:52 :: "Lesley Gore on the TAMI Show (version)" - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
26:52-29:59 :: "I Do What I Want, When I Want" - Xiu Xiu
29:59-34:08 :: "The Purple Bottle (Stevie Wonder Mix) (edit)" - Animal Collective
34:08-37:44 :: "What Do You Think Will Happen Next?" - Final Fantasy
I don't really want this around anymore.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Ossified. Shields.
I feel so ridiculously tremendously insanely ly ly ly lost.
Maybe I get it. Or can see why. But. but but but.
I think "I feel really un-done" is a better description of things. Meaning unraveled and unfinished. I don't know if either of those are ok anymore. it is really hard to tell what is right and what isn't in this light. Maybe you are feeling it too. (Are you?)
I promised myself I wouldn't ever post something that nothing but me hitting the keyboard, but this is closest I've come to doing that.
yr hmbl & obt svt,
p
ps~ I don't think you read this, but if you do, you raised a really good question at 4 a.m. this morning. I've asked myself it with more frequency than i have ever asked anything else. Except it was a little bit different hearing it from you. I might never know.
pps~ I recorded grey light vocals. sounds like shit.
Maybe I get it. Or can see why. But. but but but.
I think "I feel really un-done" is a better description of things. Meaning unraveled and unfinished. I don't know if either of those are ok anymore. it is really hard to tell what is right and what isn't in this light. Maybe you are feeling it too. (Are you?)
I promised myself I wouldn't ever post something that nothing but me hitting the keyboard, but this is closest I've come to doing that.
yr hmbl & obt svt,
p
ps~ I don't think you read this, but if you do, you raised a really good question at 4 a.m. this morning. I've asked myself it with more frequency than i have ever asked anything else. Except it was a little bit different hearing it from you. I might never know.
pps~ I recorded grey light vocals. sounds like shit.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Have another one of these.
sorry2
i have things to say but i am in no state to say them at all right now.
so, good night!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Problems II/III
All of the sleeping i am both doing & not doing when I should clearly be doing the opposite.
And that: i am not sure if it has even come close to mattering.
And that: i am not sure if it has even come close to mattering.
Monday, November 8, 2010
(The Execution of All) Things IV
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head
Things III
autumn's early dark
has light come into my life?
i'm thinking of you
/
i've only read about your wounds
but they sound a lot like mine
and i understand your apprehension
but new love works faster than time
& i'm game if you're game
i'm down if you're down
we can do this slow
just please let me know
& i'm game if you're game
i'm down if you're down
& i've got to know
or i've got to go
but i'll just say it on record
i think i like you
i think i like you a lot
i like you a lot.
/
these are long states to drive through
when you are not on the other side
& these are long days to sleep through
to just wake up without you again
waves of autumn's grey light
threaten to wash the color out of everything
autumn's early dark
it is all the same.
there's no difference.
there's no difference.
has light come into my life?
i'm thinking of you
/
i've only read about your wounds
but they sound a lot like mine
and i understand your apprehension
but new love works faster than time
& i'm game if you're game
i'm down if you're down
we can do this slow
just please let me know
& i'm game if you're game
i'm down if you're down
& i've got to know
or i've got to go
but i'll just say it on record
i think i like you
i think i like you a lot
i like you a lot.
/
these are long states to drive through
when you are not on the other side
& these are long days to sleep through
to just wake up without you again
waves of autumn's grey light
threaten to wash the color out of everything
autumn's early dark
it is all the same.
there's no difference.
there's no difference.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Things
I don't know what to do.
Option i: hold on
Options ii through iii: degrees between ^ and v
Option iv: curl up into ball, tighter and tighter, until i become smaller than anything else in the universe, and just fall through the space between the atoms of my bed.
///
I think I am going to make some diegetic sound/music(+)video recordings. I want to be able to look at the ocean and listen to "Do You Still Have to Go" all in the same youtube link. Maybe I will do this today and have it up later. Maybe it will help things make sense.
Option i: hold on
Options ii through iii: degrees between ^ and v
Option iv: curl up into ball, tighter and tighter, until i become smaller than anything else in the universe, and just fall through the space between the atoms of my bed.
///
I think I am going to make some diegetic sound/music(+)video recordings. I want to be able to look at the ocean and listen to "Do You Still Have to Go" all in the same youtube link. Maybe I will do this today and have it up later. Maybe it will help things make sense.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
(for them)/(for you)
(for them)/(for you)
by Natural Light
10.6.10
wf-02
MEGAUPLOAD
1. (for them)
00:00-04:54 :: "Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare)" - Kid Cudi (feat. MGMT and Ratatat)
04:54-08:06 :: "Scandal at the Parkade" - Owen Pallett
08:06-11:33 :: "Autoclave" - The Mountain Goats
11:33-17:10 :: "Runaway" - Kanye West (feat. Pusha T)
17:10-20:19 :: "Baby We'll be Fine (The National)" - covered by Mobius Band
20:19-20:30 :: "I Do What I Want When I Want (ringtone) - Xiu Xiu
2. (for you)
00:00-00:29 :: "Possible Love Interest (ringtone)" - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
00:29-06:23 :: "Save Your Love for Me" - Suckers
06:23-11:16 :: "Red String" - Former Ghosts
11:16-14:45 :: "Green Gloves" - The National
14:45-17:20 :: "Half of Two Times Two (Newer Version)" - BARR
17:20-20:37 :: "Weaknesses" - Parenthetical Girls
20:37-24:28 :: "Simeon's Dilemma" - WHY?
X. (for anyone else)
A. "common yellowthroat (female)"
B. "i wished you fell"
C. "triptych"
D. "10-10-10"
E. "29th"
F. "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gStSBJ1E5-A"
This probably took somewhere between 6-10 hours over the course of a week to get it just how I wanted it. Which probably seems really ridiculous, but it kind of takes a long time when you try to reevaluate something in the context of everything else. Which I probably did four or five times. The song that was the definitive inspiration for the whole thing didn't even end up included by the end.
There's some pictures included too.
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