New Love.

when your body doesn't feel it
when you can't see it in your heart
when we both stay up all night just listening to someone else's breath
give me new love

when you are my first thought when i climb into bed
when i'm your first thought when you wake
when everything else just seems to fall short
light a candle for us

give me new love
give me all your love
give me all your love

give me new love

These are words written by my friend freddy, who makes really amazing music in a band called Former Ghosts, and which appears as a song called "New Love" on an album of the same name. You can listen to it here. I sort of don't like the idea of just posting someone else's words, but I don't know what else to do when you hear someone say something better than you're ever going to be able to. How it nearly serves an an answer or response to "Thieves" kind of freaks me out.

I've spent a lot of time in the past few months listening to music to keep me company rather than advise. Things that aren't comforting because they offer any kind of conclusion, but because they end up making you feel even just a little bit less alone about being so insane over something you can't explain.

Which is sort of weird, since that is a lot like what you have been. Not an answer or magic solution, but someone who has started to help me understand again.

I am not sure how much more convinced I can become of something. I hope I am doing the right things. I hope the idea of what feels right means something. I hope we define being "ok" the same way.

I hope there is a difference between romantic and pathetic.

I'm a mess again today. This is hard.