A close approximation.

I think, anyway.

†mas plans.

I am starting work on something called "†mas". I think it will be nice Christmas collection full of music that is both undeniably about (the) Christmas (season) but also does not have too much to do with actual Christmas music. That sounds nice.

Maybe I will even play/sing a song(s)! I might have to break into a friend's house to use their piano though. Shhh.

Today is going to be ok.

update: waaaaay not ok really.

New Love.

when your body doesn't feel it
when you can't see it in your heart
when we both stay up all night just listening to someone else's breath
give me new love

when you are my first thought when i climb into bed
when i'm your first thought when you wake
when everything else just seems to fall short
light a candle for us

give me new love
give me all your love
give me all your love

give me new love

These are words written by my friend freddy, who makes really amazing music in a band called Former Ghosts, and which appears as a song called "New Love" on an album of the same name. You can listen to it here. I sort of don't like the idea of just posting someone else's words, but I don't know what else to do when you hear someone say something better than you're ever going to be able to. How it nearly serves an an answer or response to "Thieves" kind of freaks me out.

I've spent a lot of time in the past few months listening to music to keep me company rather than advise. Things that aren't comforting because they offer any kind of conclusion, but because they end up making you feel even just a little bit less alone about being so insane over something you can't explain.

Which is sort of weird, since that is a lot like what you have been. Not an answer or magic solution, but someone who has started to help me understand again.

I am not sure how much more convinced I can become of something. I hope I am doing the right things. I hope the idea of what feels right means something. I hope we define being "ok" the same way.

I hope there is a difference between romantic and pathetic.

I'm a mess again today. This is hard.

An old thing and a new thing.

FIRST PRAYER

right now your name
is the cruelest word
in this language

but still i'll say it
over and over
the only word of
the only prayed
i've ever said

a name as pins and as swords
that scrapes and cuts
that bears repeating
until it is heard
or until there's nothing to hear

ANOTHER PRAYER

can i please tell you about
the weight of days of 11:11 wishes?
& that i never wished for you?
only for you to follow your heart

can i please remind you about
the heart i wanted?
anatomically correct
but utterly ignored

FA Sequel

FA Sequel
by Natural Light
11.4.10
this is wf-04

MEGAUPLOAD

00:00-00:35 :: "Fall Again Field Recording" - Natural Light
00:35-01:54 :: "It Started with a Mixx" - Los Campesinos!
01:54-05:11 :: "Fake Empire" - The National
05:11-07:39 :: "Half of Two Times Two (Never Version)" - BARR
07:39-11:44 :: "Where You're Coming From" - Matt & Kim
11:44-14:20 :: "Catholic Pagans" - Surfer Blood
14:20-18:53 :: "(This is) The Dream of Evan and Chan" - Dntel
18:53-21:28 :: "Islands" - The xx
21:28-23:15 :: "New Homes" - Lucky Dragons
23:15-26:47 :: "Night" - Zola Jesus
26:47-30:37 :: "Black Purse (Amp Live Remix)" - WHY?
30:37-32:36 :: "I Say "No"" - Mount Eerie
32:36-35:31 :: "When I'm with You" - Best Coast
35:31-39:06 :: "Apologetic Shoulderblades" - Baths
39:06-43:10 :: "This Heart's on Fire" - Wolf Parade

Never given. Sorry. I hope someone hears it.

There is some sort of sequel...sequel I am doing now. It has a lot of fun songs on it. Just kidding they are all devastating.

Fall Again

Fall Again
by Natural Light
10.15.10
this is wf-03

MEGAUPLOAD

00:00-04:48 :: "Tone Kill Two" - Odd Nosdam
04:48-07:56 :: "Cherry Tulips (TJ Lipple of Aloha Remix)" - Headlights
07:56-12:00 :: "Pa Pa Power" - Dead Man's Bones
12:00-15:26 :: "I'm Waiting to Know You (edit)" - The Fiery Furnaces
15:26-18:15 :: "Pantone Cyan" - WHY?
18:15-20:12 :: "Flutes" - Serengeti
20:12-23:56 :: "Maple Leaves (7'' Version)" - Jens Lekman
23:56-26:52 :: "Lesley Gore on the TAMI Show (version)" - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
26:52-29:59 :: "I Do What I Want, When I Want" - Xiu Xiu
29:59-34:08 :: "The Purple Bottle (Stevie Wonder Mix) (edit)" - Animal Collective
34:08-37:44 :: "What Do You Think Will Happen Next?" - Final Fantasy

I don't really want this around anymore.

CFWMYS, E. W.

This is probably the closest I can come to giving you this, now.



hb